Ouch!

Positive thoughts for the weekend....let's hope NO SURGERY

I did get clearance to keep training.  I can"t put any weight on my left hand.

Recovering from photo phobia...

Camera shy for about 25 years...Decided to get some photos done for Mark.  I now have photographic evidence that I own a pair of Christian Louboutin pumps (or 2)...

Feeling better about the whole photo process......

Mascak arms

Getting closer to achieving a lifetime goal.....Losing the dreaded Mascak arms (which my mother insists don't exist).  Defenite change when you compare October 2010 to April 2011.

Missing one of my best friends...

I had dinner last week with one of my best friends.  It really brought home how much I miss her.  She is a true sister.  We always support each other and are philosophically on the same page.  She is one of the only people I can discuss my past with comfortably.  No regrets because it brought me to this point...

You rock, Lori Ann!

Baby Steps

Today was  my day to weigh in.  I'm at my college weight.  It has been exactly 3 months since I made this lifestyle change.  I'm down 17 pounds.  Unbelievable.....

I still can't bring myself to write down anywhere (other than FitOrbit) my starting weight and what I currenlty weigh.  Pretty pathetic..  Neither number is bad....just my insecurities. 

I guess I need to consider baby steps.  For so many years, my pattern was no breakfast (unless there was a Starbucks nearby), lunch (sometimes healthy, sometimes not), and dinner was Clo Du bois and popcorn or chocolate.  In addition, my eight cups of coffee per day....not a good thing....A lot of changes since January 13.....

My next project is to break up with my Sweet 'n Low ho like I did my sugar whore.  I have Truvia in my cabinet.  Why am I still using this chemical?????  Maybe it's her slutty pink dress?  Truvia is in a white, sanitary little plastic number.  I think mentally I still associate SNL (get it? after that great tv show) with will power. 

Big Step for TC

OK, guys.  Here goes.  I hope I can do this.  I'm a pretty social person but with regard to expressing emotions, I'm not the great communicator.   I had a real wake up call recently when my best friend (for 10 years) said "In the entire time I've know you, you have never discussed your past.  I really don't know much about your life before I met you".   She's right I've been totally blocked.

About 22 years ago, I started creating donut holes for periods of my life.  It's just a coping mechanism. 

On January 13, 2011, I made major lifestyle change.  I'm in the best shape of my life.  However, I'm dealing with everything past and present without:  1.)  Comfort foods  2.)  Very little alcohol  3.) 60 hour work weeks 4.) other compulsive behaviors.

My trainer wants me to blog and talk about her program.  This is a trial run for me.  It could be therapuetic. 

My negative body image is keeping me from potentially helping someone else so I'm going to work on this fear.  I'm going to commit to blogging at least 3 times per week. 

We'll see how that goes.....